Jokes Apart by Julius Agwu

Author:Julius Agwu
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hot Coffee Books
Published: 2013-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Reflections And

Introspection

As one gets older, more mature, and more responsible, one is driven, frequently, to moments of introspection.

These days, I often find myself questioning my actions, seeking to better understand my motivations and intents.

There is a term for this; the verbalizing of emotions. In drama it is called soliloquy which the Merriam Webster Dictionary defines as “the act of talking to oneself; a dramatic monologue that represents a series of unspoken reflections.”

As I turn 40, those moments have become more frequent and more recurrent as I continue to capture in lucid prose my chequered journey to this point of my life and career.

Such self-appraisal is necessary for growth. A philosopher, Socrates, gave the admonition: ‘Man, know thy self!’

In coming to Lagos to chase my fame and fortune, I have encountered a multi-colored cast of characters from those who have loved me like brothers to those who have hated me like a villain. I have met women who loved me and those who couldn’t stand me and there are people whom I have encountered and worked with whom I would not miss if I lived to be hundred and never saw them ever again.

That is the nature of man. We love some and we hate some.

I am self aware enough to realize that there are people whom I have met, interacted with and done business with and who would tell people that I am the very spawn of the devil.

Let me point out clearly, this is not a book for settling scores. This book is primarily a vehicle for keeping memory alive, for pausing to blow my nose like a flautist. It is my own way of taking stock of my life, of considering the consequences and otherwise of the roads not taken.

And in doing that I am looking at myself and my actions from a distance; I am considering what I did right and what I did wrong. In creating that emotional and sentimental distance I am becoming not Julius Agwu, the husband of IB and father of Zahra. No. I am seeing myself, instead, with the eyes of a stranger and I can say that one of my failings is my bluntness and directness.

Even if you are feeding me, I have the tendency to say, hang that spoon, feed me no more. Maybe, I would have more money if I pulled my punches and sucked up to people. But you see, I said “have more money.” I didn’t say richer. These are two things; diametrically opposed too even though many of us don’t realize it. Having money does not make you a richer person.

Some people would think me arrogant or proud but I don’t think that would be a correct assessment. The thing is I say it as it is. Once you give it to me, I also give it back to you. But with all sense of humility and modesty, I can tell you that if you bend for me, I will bend for you, just don’t take me for granted.

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